[OOC Section] Steam Name: Jesus Burgess Steam ID: STEAM_0:0:21850473 How long have you been playing on the server? Approximately one week. Do you have any experience within the CCA? If so, what was the highest rank you've ever achieved? No experience of being a CCA. Do you understand that abuse and/or failure to roleplay correctly will lead to an immediate de-whitelist? Yes, I do understand.   Give at least ten detailed lines of RP as a unit that demonstrates you understand P2L. (Scenario of your choice. )::  C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 Is gazing his superiors from afar out of admiration and respect. A lone citizen runs past a combine carelessly. **C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 Glaring at the citizen that is running across carelessly. The combine is pursuing the citizen that is running. C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 “You there, stop right now! If you do not comply you’ll get a worse degree of punishment.” **American accent| Male | 6’1…| Realizes he was caught running so he continues to sprint towards a door to hide and escape the combine. C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 Sighs, "disrespectful sack of shit.”  The citizen that is running doesn’t have good speed nor agility, would eventually be caught by the lone combine.  The citizen is surprised due to the fact he’s approaching a door, which evidently was a huge hindrance. **American accent| Male | 6’1…| “Oh shit, oh fuck, he’s gaining speed with every second that passes.” **American accent| Male | 6’1…| Gets a tight grip on the door handle, pushing it down swiftly and pulling it to open it.  With adequate strength but strong determination the citizen entered through the door and propped himself behind the door preventing the civil protection from catching him. Jamaican accent| Male| 5’8…| “Yo, what the hell is this man?”  The American citizen starts to feel the door being pulled with immense strength. Eventually the door will inevitably open. American accent| Male | 6’1…| “Help me! Can’t you see that I’m in need of assistance!” Jamaican accent| Male| 5’8…| “Man, what the fuck. I don’t even know. I’m out man, I don’t want to be complicit.”  After seconds of struggling, the civil protection finally opens the door with brute strength.  C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 “You’re finished.” **C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4. 29000 Pushes the citizen’s head with his forearm against the brick hardened wall. The civil protection then proceeds to use shoulder pressure against his back. Subsequently he reaches into the man’s pockets searching for contraband equipment while having the citizen under control. **American accent| Male | 6’1…| Attempts to overcome the Civil Protection’s Control through whole body movement and head butt attempts. **C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4. 29000 Simultaneously restraining and tying up the citizen’s hands together. Then proceeds to pat him from his head to his toes. **C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 ** unsheathes his stun stick from his belt, raising it above his head ready to strike, in an intimidating manner. American accent| Male | 6’1…| “Got rot in hell, you bastard!” **C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 Flicks his stun stick onto high voltage mode. The resistance of the obnoxious citizen displeased him, so he gripped his stun stick harder than usual. **C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 Strikes twice ferociously at the citizen’s head, with sufficient force to impact the brain causing a severe concussion.  American accent| Male | 6’1…| “ARGH, SHIT!” Cries in despair unable to defend himself from the aggressive combine which dealt serious damage to his brain. **C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 Tightens his grip on his stun stick, going for a final devastating blow to knock him unconscious. C17: CCA-JUDGE.i4.29000 “Minus 4 points and two cycles in detainment. Hell draws closers with every beating, simple minded sack of shit.” ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- [IC Section] Character Name: Robert Oncham Character Age: 25 Character Gender: Male Character CID: #39826 Write at least two paragraphs explaining the backstory of your character that wishes to join the CCA. Robert Oncham grew up in a lower-class Chinese family. While growing up during his childhood he would often get abused by his Father and Mother for bad grades. He wasn’t the brightest of tool in the shed but he had an adequate number of friends to help him through his hardships. With enough discipline Robert Oncham became successful in academics and behavior. With the arrival of Robert’s two brothers’ death by an unknown mass murderer, Robert was depressed and anti-social. He would rarely talk to strangers or anyone he knew personally, the death of his two brothers severely impacted his wellbeing and mental state. Stress and anxiety got the better of Robert, as his grades dropped significantly. Robert would often argue with his parents about personal decisions, to the point he would leave his home frustrated but would only temporarily. After a dispute between Robert’s mom and dad which eventually lead to his dad leaving the family. His mother couldn’t endure anymore suffering evidently. Robert’s mom suicide through asphyxiation an hour before the Seven-hour war. the Seven-hour war started and ended in seven hours with combines being victorious and the combines taking full control all over humanity. Robert Oncham would often be disciplined or confined within a cell by the combines, although rehabilitation was futile. He would frequently attempt to chase the Resistance within City 17 although was finally rejected because of his alias he would create to ensure safety.

[u][b]Alright, my problems with this:[/b][/u] 1. You missed a bit of the format in the OOC section which can show a lack of effort in the app, easy mistake still, a minor issue. 2. The P2L situation shows very little play too loose and lacks detail, thats a major flaw in your app and I'd recommend you see to that first. 3. The backstory, it isn't that bad, it just needs to be expanded in length and detail, if you show the emotion your character feels when these events happen, not just saying he is 'depressed' and 'anti-social' it'll help you act as your character in a more realistic fashion if you can understand how he feels or has felt. You have the base to work with on the backstory and could easily make it an enjoyable read if you put in the effort. I'll stay [u][size=150][color=#000000][b]neutral[/b][/color][/size][/u] for now

Sorry about my ooc layout it didn't copy and paste the way I intended it to for some reason.

The app has improved and it shows you actually want this role, the scenario can still use a bit of improvement and I would recommend checking some of the accepted apps in the archived thread for some help on them, but  the overall app has obviously improved and I think I can [b][u][color=#27ae60]+support[/color][/u]  [/b]you now, I still want to see you play in-game though since thats the best way to know if someone is capable or not. Can I ask if your new to the gamemode though?

Thanks for the support. And no i'm not new to this gamemode, I did play periodically but recently I started playing hl2rp more often.

[quote][url='http://risehl2rp.mistforums.com/user/210469']Robert Makłowicz[/url] said previously: Thanks for the support. And no i'm not new to this gamemode, I would play periodically but recently I started playing hl2rp more often.[/quote] I didn't mean that in an offensive way, its just the way your scenario was layed out seemed funny too me.

[size=150]Neutral[/size], all reasons stated by Monkey.

[quote][url='http://risehl2rp.mistforums.com/user/203684']Bubbles (gay4god™)[/url] said previously: [size=150]Neutral[/size], all reasons stated by Monkey.[/quote] I think he deserved to be tried in the CCA but I really want to see an increase in his in-game time, I prefer to base people off their actual RP than what they put in their app.

I know Robert is a beginner roleplayer, but he is great at making passive RP in idle situations which helps make a more pleasant roleplay experience. +Support.

[color=#2980b9]Neutral[/color] The application seems to be a bit lacking. I would change it a bit to make it more appealing. I agree that the in-game matters more, so I'll only keep it at a neutral. Once the app is better, i'll definitely +support you.

I changed the P2L. I do hope it's above standard.

Nice app [size=200][color=#27ae60]support[/color][/size]

Following the edit, it's definitely an improvement. From what I've seen, you're pretty active. Welcome to the force.